Wednesday, February 14, 2007
there is absolutely no reason for me to be this frustrated. i got out of classes today, thus avoiding a midterm. i played in the snow. i laughed a lot. i didn't go to work. i was expecting a phone interview, which i still have not gotten. this in part makes me nervous, but to put me in this rank of a mood? i think not. i don't want to be a wanker to everyone around me, but every little stupid thing gets on my nerves. music is my solace. it is the only thing that makes sense anymore and if i play it loud enough it keeps the demons at bay.
Friday, February 09, 2007
so. i suppose i could start in on some long drawn out attempt at putting my terrible day into poetic form, but i just can't seem to do it. i had and am continuing to have a shitty day. no better way to put it, no easier way to explain. first off i am easily persuaded and stayed out far too late last night. i am lathargic and regretting every minute of it. i didn't hit the sheets until some ungodly hour circa five-thirty a.m. and have had to work since eleven. it is ninee-fifteen and i still have fourty-five umbearable minutes in this giant pill container. (the pharmacy at which i am currenty employed) i hate it here. partially because i am overworked and underpayed (to put it nicely), partially because i want to move back to camp, and partially because most everyone here is a giant ass in one way or another. i nearly cry during every single shift, and although i have a tendency, this is not me exaggerating. as proof i offer up the fact that today's "breaking point" came only about fifteen minutes ago and prompted me to write instead of beating myself up. also, and trust me there is no way to put this poetically...i got booted from my insurance today. up until now i thought it was mildly funny what an absolutely terrible driver i am. it's really not so funny anymore. not funny at all really. i want to run away and despite what other people say, i think that sometimes running away from your problems like a bat outta hell, full speed ahead, and as far as your little legs can carry you is exactly what you need. exactly what i need.