take it easy

i woke up today, head pounding. an ever-growing sense of disappointment welling inside me. i felt like my insides were dying. rotting away with every breath. i knew i'd slept in too late...again. failed to hear the alarm. two large papers with deadlines looming over my head. useless. i know that the papers, or the fact that i am flat, dead, done broke, haven't done my taxes or filed my fasfa, owe lots of people lots of money, and don't know what i am doing with my life are probably not the reason i felt so bad, but this morning it seemed as if it had all come crashing down on my head. i managed to get myself in the shower and actually wash my hair for the first time in three days. proud. i let my hair dry on it's own. wasting time cyber-dreaming about my future and all the random possibilities. i didn't think it would get any better as i stepped into the freshly fallen snow and made my way to the car. i love it when i'm wrong.

a good friend called and offered me an escape. i said yes and took a burdened breath, hoping that her promise of relief was sincere. i picked her up without saying much and followed her pointing finger to a house downtown. not a safe part of the city by any means. the streets are lined with drug dealers and users. broken homes filled with broken people. the eyes of the hungry and enraged following you everywhere you go. i trusted her, but hoped "relief" wasn't code for crack.

she instructed me to drive down a littered back alley and park in a driveway adjacent to a beautiful old home. it stood out like a sore thumb amongst the ramshackle, section-eight-approved houses. i followed her up the walk and onto the empty porch. she didn't bother to knock on the door and i followed her into a large front room. i hadn't any time to take in my surroundings before an old indian woman appeared in the doorway. she smiled slightly, almost knowingly and said hello. my friend introduced me as such and the old woman as her grandmother. it settled. i remembered her telling me about her, a full-blooded cherokee. it showed.

to be continued...