so it appears

my hands lost their cool this morning. i splashed my entire cup of coffee all over the floor and things i prefer to keep dry. i dropped a water bottle on my frozen toes. walk it off. i don't think it coincidence that when i am taking the neccessary steps to total surrender that the little frustrations creep up and have their fun. i had an unread message in my inbox last night. it was from a friend of mine. she'd sent it sometime last summer. somehow i'd never read it. it said "i miss you." that friend died almost four months ago. apparently Da wasn't kidding when He said He was going to make me face things. apparently we're having it out. apparently there is going to be some heart searching. wretching. healing. apparently.