Monday, March 08, 2010

fill my lamps with oil

when did i stop dreaming? like really dreaming. like, thinking of six impossible things before breakfast, dreaming? why am i so afraid to get what i need. to say what i mean all the time. i want to ask silly questions without answers. and let my heart love who it does. without torturing myself for what that love is not. be satisfied.

...............................

my irrational anger at the sound of your voice speaks volumes to me. you hurt me without knowing it. you hurt me, because i let you. and you're never any wiser. and i wish i knew what you are thinking when you stare. do you have a library full of words for me too? do you despise your own tongue for it's inability to move? am i beautiful to you? you've said so before. maybe not. perhaps i am convenient. or frustrating. or both. if i let you touch me would you leave? i hope you took me seriously when i said what i said between sips.

will you ever want to give me what you wanted to give me then, ever again?

...............................

i've discovered that it's nearly impossible to be a 24-year-old girl. woman. what?

1 comment:

Unknown said...

"when did i stop dreaming? like really dreaming. like, thinking of six impossible things before breakfast, dreaming? why am i so afraid to get what i need. to say what i mean all the time. i want to ask silly questions without answers. and let my heart love who it does. without torturing myself for what that love is not. be satisfied." I love this post. I too have lost these abilities. So profound. I'll be checking back often to read what's new with you.