three feet deep

it amazes me that late at night. alone in my bed. at the end of an emotinally trying day, i am still overwhelmed with gratitude. the God i serve is nothing less than indescribable. i am in awe of many things. like the beautiful people He puts right in front of you at exactly the right time. and the beautiful people that He has to take away, because He wants the best for them as well. sometimes i get so excited for what He is bringing. i can feel somewhere in my heart that He is going to take me places i never dreamed of being, both physically and spiritually. i am ready and willing. so willing. i occassionally get a little antsy. "where God? where will you take me? what Lord? what will i do? who Father? who will you put by my side? when Jesus? when? when?" and then i laugh, because i sense Him laughing at my giddy anticipation. and i look around me into the forest and the mounds of endless snow. at the mountains and the way the sun makes them look a million different colours all at once and how the mist plays peekaboo with the trees. and i know i am exactly where i am supposed to be. doing exactly what He wants me to be doing. even if it seems small to others. even if it is just broken people living in community together, fighting along side eachother, praying, laughing, crying, getting sick, healing, and serving everyone who comes across our paths in whatever way He wants us to serve them. it is something. it is a place to learn exactly what it means to be His hands and feet. a place to get lost in Father's heart. a place to sit back and marvel at creation. free from stop lights and smog. free from traffic or television. a place where it is safe to change. where people allow God to move rather than holding you in a place you no longer fit. i am nothing short of blessed. His grace overwhelms me. i know i don't deserve it, but i am accepting it more each day. His timing, which often seems as slow as molasses to my fickle human understanding, is perfect. i will wait on Him. in darkness or in light.

but those who wait on the Lord
shall renew their strength
they shall mount up with wings like eagles
they shall run and not be weary,
they shall walk and not faint
isaiah 40:31