broken

the center of my body is a black hole
it feels like some gravitational force
is eating my heart and my fingers and my toes
i can feel myself getting sucked up
right into the center of me
and i want to crawl out
to fling my arms wide and force the hole
to give me back the parts of me that are lost
and i want to be left alone
and i don't want to think about you anymore
and i don't want my stomach to ache so badly
i want to stretch my legs and feel the sun on my cheeks
to feel grass and dirt and bugs in between my toes
i wish that the tears in my throat would come unstuck
and that with the torrent every trace of longing
would be washed down the drain swirling twirling oblivion
i hate the complexity of human emotion and the passage of time
i hate that words can cut and crush and burn
and when said just right and at just the right time
they make me twist and change and lie
typing is now hard as my back curls under the force
the pull is getting stronger and i
am disappearing