Monday, May 03, 2010
band aid brand
i just crinkled my nose and said 'ouch,' for the fifteenth time since waking up this morning. that's how i intend to deal with this. i don't want to cry. i'm not sure i even need to talk about it. whenever my heart hurts and misses what it shouldn't i'll just say 'ouch' out loud. i'll tell people i stubbed my toe. or cut my finger. and nobody will question it, because everybody knows i could hurt myself in a straight jacket. and nobody, including him, will know that what i really mean when i say 'ouch' out loud is that my heart is tearing and being sewn up all at the same time. and that in those moments when the circus of rips and needles is too much, i have to speak for fear that i'll stop breathing.
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3 comments:
There's only one cure for love, baby.
I'm telling you, just what you've written here - you could stitch and unstitch it and work out the pattern, and have a song you could put your heart through when you need to get that feeling out.
You write very well. Your writing stings. But I hope that as you heal you will have more cause to piece together writing that soothes and brings sweetness!
Keep strong in the meantime and do what you gotta! If it hurts, it's OK to say ouch.
remember that morning that I said "F***" about 15 times because I didn't want to cry? Does that make you smile and remember the fun times we had???
I love you Scat, and surely do miss you!!! I'm always thinking about you!
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