my first real kiss

i wish i could take photographs of moments. so later, when things aren't looking so bright, i could just pull out a three-by-five of times like this. times when He's whispering, but i can still make out every word He's saying. times when my coffee drips out of the pot tasting just right. times when i have questions, but i don't need answers to have peace. times when i have peace in knowing that it is all out of my control anyway. when all i have to do is look up and love with all i have. it feels like i've just gotten my first real kiss. not from a boy. or a girl. hah. but from someone a bit higher up. we've met. in a very intimate way. after dancing around eachother for so long. and now that we've touched. well i won't ever be the same. it has grown me up in a way that is hard to describe, but lovely to watch. i haven't got anything figured out. in fact i find myself figuring out less. and i'm content with that. i find no need to poke and prod and harass my life into telling me what it is about. i am being redefined and it is the best feeling in the world. at almost twenty-two i am becoming all shiny and new.