abandonment

ABANDONMENT. dictionary definitions for this word include:

1. to give up; discontinue; withdraw from
2. to give up the control of
3. the voluntary surrender of property (or a right to property) without attempting to reclaim it or give it away

our lives are NOT our own. you were bought at a great price. now i know we hear it all the time over and over again from the mouths of people who have never truely encountered the love of God. God sent His Son. yadda yadda. He died for you. yadda yadda. He rose from the dead. yadda yadda yadda. STOP. think about it. pray that God lets this sink in. He watched His Son, whom He loved, die one of the most horrendous and humiliating deaths just to save us from that same fate. to save me. to save you. this might be a bigger deal than we make it out to be sometimes.

so back to the point that our lives are not our own. "to give up, discontinue, withdraw from." what does that mean? it means whatever you think your life is. whatever plans you've made or lies you've allowed yourself to believe about yourself have to go. give them up. God gives you desires. to hope for things is normal, but to base your life around them and expect God to move in them when He isn't at the center is kind of silly. you may have to give up certain activities to spend more time with Him. you may have to discontinue some old habits, friends, or beliefs that are keeping you from Him. you MUST clean out your inner sanctuary and spend time with Him (just you and Jesus) every day. you may for a while (or perhaps permanently) have to withdraw from what everyone else is doing and earnestly ask Him to reveal what in your life needs to go, what needs to stay, and what needs to be invited. (always remember that we cannot expect to live a life completely set apart for Him and think that our lives will still look the same from the outside...because they won't)

"to give up control." what does that mean? it means you are not in the driver's seat. the analogy i think of personally, is that for years i was saying sure God, You're in the driver's seat, but i was this crazy girl in the passanger seat who would constantly reach over and grab the wheel or put my feet all over the pedals. Jesus would be desperately trying to steer and i would just bug Him and run the whole thing off course quite frequently. i had to stop. at first i had to sit on my hands and tie my feet together, but it has gotten easier. i don't worry about where He is going, i just listen, watch and enjoy the ride. i stil have to occasionally sit on my own hands, but for the most part i have them out the window, making rollercoasters in the wind.

"the voluntary surrender...without attempting to reclaim it or give it away." what does THAT mean? it means once you make the choice to give it all to Him you shouldn't be trying to take it back. it is already His to begin with, because He paid for it, but part of free will is that we can make the choice NOT to actively give over our lives to Him, in every area, in every situation. you shouldn't say yes Father, You have everything, but be standing in the corner tightly holding on to fashion, friends, men, careers or any other distractions saying, "He won't notice that i'm holding on to this one silly little thing and He probably doesn't understand anyhow."

He understands. and He knows.






*this is a small excerpt from a very lengthy letter i sent to a friend today. it has been edited minorly to insure privacy, but i thought what God said through me here was something more than just she or i needed to hear.