beautiful people

the deeper He takes me the more aware i am of humaness. the more aware i become, the more insight He provides, but the process of becoming aware can be quite frustrating at times. seeing people through His eyes, can be...painful. it is beautiful. more beautiful than any love i could dream up, but i also see our seperation from Him. in small things. in big things. in love things. in hate things. sometimes the way we talk to people, especially those we love, is downright disgraceful. sometimes the way we talk ABOUT people, especially those we don't know, is downright disgusting. i am having to ask Him a lot of questions about why i sometimes see so many red flags in one day. He long ago spoke to me about not using certain words to describe things that in my opinion were silly, strange, or annoying, so i don't use them. but, words such as "gay" or "retarded" are very common in the small town from which i currtenly hail. they are not ok to use. i believe He thinks that. the connotations and pain that comes with the use of said terms are not of God. they hurt people. Jesus does not want me to hurt people. i see people around me who are caught up in mighty moves of the Spirit. beautiful people whom i believe are earnestly seeking His face, but who fail to love people with the way they speak about them. words are so powerful. the Bible tells us so. i know very well that i am guilty of this too. i do not claim to be innocent. i am merely an observer. God chagnes me through my observations. in james 3 it compares the rudder of a ship to the tongue of a man. how such a small part can steer an entire vessel. in v. 5 and 6 it says "likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. the tongue is also a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. it corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire and is itself set on fire by hell." speak and so you will do. He is even radically transforming the way i joke. i am really stubborn in this area. sarcasm is rarely edifying. if you know me, you can imagine how hard this one is going to be for me to filter. i also notice that the more i recognize the need for change the more situations arise in which i am tempted to negate everything i am learning. especially with my family. at times they make me want to claw my own eyeballs out. the enemy has made my interactions with them seem like nails on a chalkboard and it is only by His grace that i still damn up my mouth. for the most part. and repent when the damn leaks. not just to Him, but to those i get wet.