sometimes i am such a royal ass! i say the opposite of what i mean. and make people i genuinely like and want to spend time with feel awkward and unsure. and it's not even like i'm actually mean. just passive aggressive. because whenever i meet someone that i actually dig (we're talking about a boy incase you haven't caught on) and my pride is threatened in anyway, i react to their often earnest attempts in the lamest way. (i promise i didn't vocalize any of this to him) but i'm mad that he doesn't call and then mad when he does, because it's so late and the phone he's talking on has crap reception and he sounds like a broken intercom at a late night fast food joint. "i said no cheese! not mo' cheese!" and when we get off the phone, with him trying to tell me he'll call me in the morning through all the static on his end and all the bullshit on mine, i realize what i meant to say was, "i got the dumbest grin on my face when you called. it is so good to hear your voice. i really could have used one of your hugs today. yes, i'm so stoked that you're in town. of course i want to hang out. i'm glad practice went well and am excited you have so many shows booked in the area. it means i get to see more of that handsome face. have a terribly fantastic night and call me in the morning."
damn.
i am going to be the girl he fell for three months ago when he calls in the morning. if he calls. i wouldn't call me if i were him. god, i hope he calls.
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