same clothes as yesterday

fell asleep on the couch last night in the same clothes i'm wearing now.thanks to a kind soul i didn't freeze.i woke up five minutes before i was to be at work.slipped on my shoes,brushed my teeth,grabbed my favorite coat and stepped out in to the rain.i love days like today.i don't feel good inside,but i feel better than i would if it weren't raining.

sporting yesterday's accoutrement and old mascara makes me feel like a lush.not that i had more to drink than a coke last night.but it brings back memories of waking late,(or not going to bed at all)tripping in to work chewing two pieces of gum in an attempt to cover up not only the fact that i hadn't brushed, but also that i probably didn't know where the hell my toothbrush even was.something about those days was so empty and i'm grateful that although i'm wearing last night's make-up i am not suffering the indecencies of a hangover and the hollow feeling i often had the "day after".

i feel somewhat silly for creating this thing,but i know well enough i need somewhere to write.the endless stack of journals and lose papers i continually try to hide somewhere safe is becoming somewhat of a burden and a liabilty.i wrote something yesterday and once again have nowhere safe to keep it so i suppose it will be my first of many poetic attempts for just about anyone to see...

"out my window"
i watched an old man
playing basketball today
limbs more numb and brittle
than they ever use to be
but he tried and broke my heart
as random strangers often do